That's Randi with an "i"

Parental Alienation - Targeted parents and the effects - Research  

Marriages can fail for many reasons. When they do, people can be seen on a spectrum from minimal conflict to high conflict as they sort out the task of untangling their lives to resume independent living. Where children are involved, living can only ever be semi-independent as the needs of the children will forever keep the couple united. As the level of conflict and animosity increases between the parents the thought of being tied through the children is too much for some people to bear. As such, some parents will seek to exclude or diminish the role of the other parent in the lives of the children. This meets the dual objective of greater freedom from the other parent and punishing the other parent for perceived injustices. In excluding or diminishing the role of the other parent several strategies can be deployed. These include; undermining access by being away or planning alternate events for the children; refusing access altogether for frivolous reasons; telling the child hurtful...

  IS THERE A Terrorist in the Home who is Establishing Fear, Anguish, and Apprehension in the Children? What do you call it when a parent or person instills such fear and hatred in a child that he/she is afraid to love their other parent? What do you call it when a parent uses condescending words and actions to describe the other parent to the point of creating fear of that Targeted Parent? What do you call it when a parent threatens to not love a child if the child shows any love, compassion or feelings for the other parent? I call it Parental Alienation or Hostile Aggressive Parenting, but someone else might call this Terrorism. Terrorism: the word strikes fear in most people’s hearts. But what is the actual definition of Terrorism? According to Encarta World English Dictionary, it is: ter·ror·ism n violence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, carried out for political purposes. The synonyms for Terrorism are not better: ...

At some point in nearly every case of a child’s severe estrangement from a parent, the child and the parent with whom she is aligned label the other parent’s attempts to reach out to the child as “harassment.” The child rebuffs phone calls, texts, emails, greeting cards, invitations, even gifts. Not only does the child deflect efforts to connect. The efforts, themselves, are cast as further reasons for the child’s rejection. Your ex might ask, “Why would my child want to have anything to do with you when all you do is harass her?” (Note that the child is no longer considered “our” child.) What is that you do that constitutes harassment? Do you harp on your child’s faults? Do you pick on your child’s weaknesses? Do you persistently tell your child what to do, never allowing her a moment of peace? Do you constantly scream at your child? Or is your sole transgression your unwillingness to accept a break in your relationship with your child—your refusal to accept that your child will no lo...

G etting no response from your child? read this... If you’re a parent who doesn’t hear from your child no matter what you do or say, I want to give you a different perspective... -->  YOU  have the  most  potential for change... This may feel counterintuitive, so let me explain why. When alienated children aren’t communicating, it’s because they are stuck in a prison. A prison that the alienator has built to have control over them. From your eyes, those walls of their prison could feel impenetrable. But from your child’s eyes, they don’t want to be in that prison. They want to be free. That means they can be who they really are, without being told what to do. That means being able to freely love each of their parents, without getting bombarded with lies. That means being from the chains brainwashing that they are hearing. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻. YOUR LIGHT. Because they know that somewhere out there, they have a parent (YOU) who loves the...

Not having a relationship with a grandchild can be a source of enormous torment for most grandparents. This is because our relations with our grandchildren are based often on a relationship of innocence, shared need, and vulnerability. In most cases, the grandchild/grandparent relationship is a casualty of the parent-adult child battleground, not a choice of the grandchild. In other cases, the grandchild can join the parents in their criticism of the grandparent, creating an even more treacherous minefield for them to walk through. This is unfortunate because studies show that the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is not only good for the well-being of the grandparent, it's good for children's development. This isn't terribly surprising. Grandparents serve a number of important roles: They - * Provide the grandchild with another opinion about who they are. That is, if the parents of the grandchild are critical or rejecting or simply too overwhelmed to give...

  11 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics, According to Experts (msn.com)

DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND PAS This is an article written by   Joan T. Kloth. I found her years ago and joined her group which she runs for parents going through various stages of alienation from their children A lot of this information I know is true since I've been dealing with this for 18 years. Anywhere where the father is mentioned as being the targeted parent of course those roles can be reversed. Put the mother in where it says father and you have the situation where the mother is the targeted parent with the father being the alienating parent - such as in my case.

How Does Alienation Affect the Children

  Gaslighting The term comes from a play of the same name about a husband who attempts to make his wife think she is crazy. The actual definition is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting ) In other words, the victim is made to believe that someone or something is not what they think it is. In the case of parent child relationships, this could involve one parent deliberately destroying the once positive memories of their other parent with the express purpose of severing all types to the targeted parent. Below is a list of feelings and thoughts that one might have who is being gaslighted into not having a relationship with one parent. Your own personal experience may not involve all of these experiences or feelings, but if you recognize yourself in any of them, you may be a victim of psychological abuse and parental alienatio...

  This is a very accurate description of the difference between parental alienation and estrangement. There is a definite difference. Estrangement can be due to a justifiable reason. If there is no justifiable reason such as neglect or abuse then it's very likely parental alienation has been involved. 1 1 comment Active Randi Hartman We should say "alleged abuse" since there might not be any real proof of the abuse that the parent is accused of doing.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l-gYuoCLQA

  “Alienating parents tend to present well; targeted parents tend to present poorly. As a rule, alienating parents present with the Four C’s. They are cool, calm, charming, and convincing. That is because effective alienators tend to be master manipulators … In contrast, targeted parents tend to present with the Four A’s. They are anxious, agitated, angry, and afraid. That is because they are trauma victims. They are attempting to manage a horrific family crisis, usually without success, often while being attacked by professionals who fail to recognize the counterintuitive issues. Indeed, non-specialists often get these cases backwards” – Steven G. Miller, M.D., Massachusetts, USA

Open Letter to Adult Children Estranged from their Parents

  Children Who Hate | Psychology Today

  Restoring Family Connections | Psychology Today

Interesting perspective from a kid's side. Kid of PAS

I read this book when it first came out in 2007.  Very insightful.  I'm sorry that so many kids, including my own, have to go through this.  There are so many issues and problems caused by this.   Adult Children of Alienation

This adult was alienated from his dad for many years and reunited. He   helps parents navigate through this critical time by showing them exactly what to say and do to maximize every moment to save the relationship. While your attorney protects your legal rights, we focus on the daily interactions and communications that will determine whether you have a relationship or not when it's over. I have taken several courses offered by Ryan over the years and have learned a lot.  I'm hoping that using his methods my daughters will one day come out of the cult of alienation.  To learn more about what he does, click on the link. https://ryanthomasspeaks.com/?fbclid=IwAR2h-cO3G-icbfqRv7YQtRUsv3q9NFj2GbXtWcybj0QleFY6T95o-T6vueA

This is an excellent video from Ginger Gentile which talks about the subject of parental alienation.  Very important to watch.  Click on the link below for the YouTube video. In North America, over 25 MILLION PARENTS are being erased from their children's lives after divorce and separation. The ERASING FAMILY documentary follows young adults fighting to reunite with their broken families. Through the eyes of 23-year-old Ashlynn, 12-year-old Lauren and 28-year-old Brian, consequences on mental health caused by profiteering high-conflict divorce court settlements are revealed. The film shows programs that encourage mediation and shared parenting which will prevent parental alienation and future childhood trauma, making divorce and separation less costly both financially and emotionally. The film ends with children and parents being reunited on screen and will inspire other kids to reach out to #erased parents, siblings and grandparents. Contact www.erasingfamily.org for help an...

  Alienated Parent vs Alienator   The Alienated Passive Parent : First, there is a difference between Targeted and Alienated Parent.  A targeted parent still sees and spends quality time with their kids while the other parent attempts to destroy the relationship.  The alienated parent has no relationship with their kids.  It is a living death.  The children are physically alive but emotionally and mentally dead to them.  When a child dies, there is closure because we know where they are.  When a child is missing or alienated, there is no closure, and hence the term “Living Death”. The alienated/targeted parent is the peacemaker, go with the flow, whatever you say honey parent.  They have given up all their control to the other parent.  That is until they try to take back the control.  Then this is a huge trigger for the alienating parent.   The Alienator Aggressive Parent: As for the aggressive alienating parent, they...