Terrorist in the Home

Establishing Fear, Anguish, and Apprehension in the ChildrenBy Joan T. KlothLife Coach/CounselorNovember 11,2007

What do you call it when a parent or person instills such fear and hatred in a child that he/she is afraid to love his/her other parent? What do you call it when a parent uses condescending words and actions to describe the other parent to the point of creating fear of that targeted parent? What do you call it when a parent threatens to not love a child if the child shows any love, compassion or feelings for the other parent? I call it Parental Alienation or Hostile Aggressive Parenting, but someone might call this Terrorism.Terrorism: the word strikes fear in most people's hearts. But what is the actual definition of Terrorism? According to Encarta World English Dictionary, it is:
ter·ror·ism nviolence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, carried out for political purposes.
The synonyms for Terrorism are not better: Violence, intimidation, terror campaign and bombing. Wow, some pretty strong words. And what about the word Terrorist? What does it mean?
ter·ror·ist nsomebody who uses violence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, to intimidate, often for political purposes.
And what about the word Terror? This is a strong one, too.
ter·ror n1.intense or overwhelming fear2.violence or the threat of violence carried out for political purposes3.something such as an event or situation that causes intense fear4.an annoying, difficult, or unpleasant person, particularly a naughty child (informal)Parental Alienation utilizes all of these tactics and more. From threats of violence if a child does not follow the parent's orders, to fears that the alienating parent will no longer love him/her if he/she does not follow the parent's orders, to fear of being treated just like the targeted parent by the alienator. A child's mind is kidnapped and held hostage under the guise of love, honor and just reward. Parental Alienation is the assassination of one parent's good name and character for the sole selfish purposes of depriving a child of a relationship with the other parent. It is the bombing of all the child's positive feelings and memories of his/her other parent.
Parental Alienation has been compared to cults while the actions of Cult Leaders are compared to the Alienator. Just like a cult leader, a Parental Alienator indoctrinates his/her followers to believe in only him/her and that no one else matters or is safe. But isn't that what a Terrorist leader is? A cult leader for a fanatical group that believes his/her way is the only way. In some cases, this narcissism is to such an extreme that the alienator/terrorist will kill to get what they want.
A Parent who alienates his/her children from the other loving parent, barring that no true and proven abuse has occurred, is doing the same thing. The alienator is bribing and brainwashing his/her children and even friends and family to believe that the other parent is a worthless, terrible person who could never be trusted. The alienator sets up extreme scenarios to push his/her campaign to destroy the other person, in much the way a terrorist incites his/her disciples to suicide bomb and blow up others who do not believe his/her way. The alienator kills his/her child's soul and heart, making sure any feelings between the children and their other parent are destroyed. Cult Leaders and Terrorists really are no different in their actions and thoughts. It is all for them.We need to stop these family terrorists from destroying any more children and their relationships with the other parent. Terrorism, no matter whether as an assault on a nation or on a family, is a crime and should be penalized appropriately. Until the courts and therapists appreciate the gravity of the Parental Alienator's terrorist tactics, children and their targeted parents will continue to be decimated by narcissistic control freaks, i.e., the alienating abusive parents.